The Depression Before the Resurrection

(aka: You’re not lazy, you’re just done pretending)

So… you can’t get off the couch.

You’re staring at the ceiling like it owes you an explanation.

Your guides have apparently taken a vow of silence.

And even the dog seems to be avoiding eye contact.

Congratulations. You’re not broken—you’re waking the hell up.

Pieter:

“Oh good. You’ve arrived at the part of the awakening where everything sucks. Welcome! We have snacks—well, emotional breakdowns disguised as snacks.”

See, no one tells you that one of the first signs of actual spiritual growth is the complete collapse of your interest in playing along with society’s little charade.

You start noticing that life as you knew it is less “sacred journey” and more “corporate cult with snacks and taxes.”

You can’t pretend anymore that working 50 hours a week for 2 weeks of holiday and a pension at 70 is a life plan.

You realize your morning anxiety isn’t a disorder—it’s a spiritual rebellion against living inauthentically.

Eagle Eye:

“When the spirit within you refuses to dance to the drumbeat of falsehood, it calls you inward with silence, sadness, and stillness. But you, human, keep trying to ‘productivity’ your way through it.”

At first, the depression feels like failure.

You think you’re lazy.

Broken.

Unmotivated.

You try yoga. Kale. A gratitude journal. You chant “love and light” until you’re blue in the throat chakra.

Nothing changes.

Because here’s the kicker:

It’s not that you’re depressed because you’re failing.

You’re depressed because you’re waking up to the lie.

And once you see the lie, you can’t unsee it.

You see how religion told you to fear the divine, politics told you who to hate, medicine told you you're defective, and capitalism told you happiness could be delivered in 3-5 business days.

Spoiler alert: it cannot.

Your first instinct? Righteous rage.

You want to punch the system in the face, burn your old vision board, and yell “I WAS LIED TO!” into the nearest canyon.

Pieter:

“I encourage this part. Just don’t aim it all outward. You’ll eventually realize you were complicit. You signed the contract in crayon and glitter glue like the rest of us.”

See, beneath the fury lies something far scarier:

Grief.

Grief for the years you spent playing small.

Grief for the masks you wore to survive.

Grief for the dreams you buried so you could be acceptable, palatable, “normal.”

Eagle Eye:

“True awakening begins when you no longer blame the world, but sit with yourself, and say: I see where I abandoned me.”

Mic drop from the old man. Again.

So yes, you’re disconnected.

But not from Spirit.

Spirit didn’t ghost you—it just refuses to attend the masquerade ball where you keep pretending to be someone you’re not.

That depression? That’s your soul issuing a “stop everything until we find out what the hell we’re doing here” memo.

That numbness? Your inner compass recalibrating after being fed GPS directions from Instagram influencers, a televangelist, and your mum’s third husband.

And that anger? It’s the alarm clock of authenticity, ringing loudly to remind you: “YOU WEREN’T BORN TO PAY BILLS AND APOLOGIZE FOR EXISTING.”

So here’s the truth:

You’re not lazy. You’re out of alignment.

You’re not disconnected. You’re detoxing from delusion.

And you’re not broken. You’re breaking free.

Your job now is not to go back to “normal.”

It’s to burn that sh*t down (ceremonially, legally, metaphorically) and build something that actually fits your soul.

You don’t need more affirmations. You need honesty.

You don’t need more productivity hacks. You need permission.

You don’t need to “raise your vibe.” You need to feel your damn feelings and let them lead you home.

Feeling this? Come find us at www.living5d3d.com for brutally honest healing, consultations, and spiritual sarcasm served with a side of soul.

Because enlightenment is real—but so is your nervous breakdown.